one day at a time

Well, the hardest part is over... the goodbye.  The moment I had been dreading for months.  Not going to lie, yesterday was the most difficult day of my life thus far... watching him walk away from Reagan and me was more painful than the day I gave birth.  Someone needs to develop a deployment epidural pronto.  However seeing my handsome husband in his combat uniform carrying his 3 large rucksacks overwhelmed me with such a powerful sense of pride.  I married my hero.  It amazes me that someone can be so brave and so strong, willing to leave his new little family, his friends, and comforts of home to travel to a place that is "hell on earth" in order to protect the freedom of people who ignore/forget the fact that we are a country at war.  He inspires me to be a strong, confident, and independent woman who can fend for herself and hold her head up when the going gets tough.  

And boy is it tough.  After dropping him off yesterday morning I cringed at the thought of coming back to an empty house.  Heck, I could hardly even drive home I was crying so hard.  But as the lonely hours progressed, I found that the sun still rose, I was still breathing, and life went on.  I didn't have the choice to spend my day crying and moping around... a precious little baby depended on me.  Granted, I may not have been the most exciting mommy to play with seeing as though I only got 2 hours of sleep, but she helped me get through my first day of deployment.  Well, her and Debrand's chocolates. =)

Today was much better than yesterday, and I'm beginning to believe everyone who says each day is easier than the last.  After all, I'm one day closer to seeing him again!  I was able to talk with him very briefly on two separate occasions and, unlike yesterday, the waterworks didn't come when I got off the phone.  Maybe I'm just dehydrated and have no tears left to produce, seeing as though I've cried the past week straight on top of being a nursing mother.  

Nonetheless, Reagan and I enjoyed the sunny 67° weather (last time I checked it WAS Colorado, right? And February??) and we went on a nice, long walk around the neighborhood.  My sister-in-law, Sarah, is coming out in a week, I booked a flight to Indy in March, made tentative plans to go to California in May for my birthday, and talked to Samantha about her visiting in June.  I'll tackle this deployment by looking forward to these small milestones, leaning on family and friends, saying lots of prayers, and taking it one. day. at. a. time.